Breadcrumbs

What to expect from first time sex

Will you be having first time sex soon?

Will you be having first time sex soon? If you answered, "yes," then read on. Nowadays, information on sex seems to be shown everywhere - in magazines, on TV and during conversations. Sometimes this information is presented incorrectly and gives you wrong expectations or anxious feelings. It is normal to feel excited or a little nervous when you think about your first time.

One thing that people forget is that there is no right or wrong way to do it. Every person is different and generally it takes time to get used to each other and what you like and don’t like. Sex is mainly about receiving as well as giving pleasure in a way that both parties are comfortable with, and can enjoy.

You must be able to talk to your partner and voice any feeling, worries or excitement with him or her about the whole thing. It might be embarrassing but if you are about to take this step and you do not feel comfortable enough to speak openly about it, then maybe you aren’t ready to take the step and have sex for the first time.

It is important to use protection in the form of a condom. This is instruction number one, not only because of its importance, but also because it should be the first thing you think of. You can never be too safe when it comes to sex. Even if the woman is on a contraceptive pill, the male should still be wearing a condom and they should talk about their sexual history. As mentioned before, if you cannot have this conversation, think again before trying it out for the first time.

We are all aware of the anxiety that comes with the first time. It can be tense, not to mention what everyone has said about it being painful or scary. Everyone’s first time is different. So just calm down, take a few deep breaths and relax, because the more calm you are about it the better it will be.

Don’t assume one of the two of you know it all. There are so many sources from where you can be getting information and what your partner might have learnt from somewhere else. As mentioned before, everyone is different, meaning that every sexual experience is different.

This may sound like a buzz kill, but don’t have too high expectations. Don’t feel the pressure to make it the best night of your life, because remember that this may be the first of many a night with your special someone. As a couple, you need to work together to find out about each other’s bodies and learn what you both like and dislike. The more comfortable you are with each other, the better sex will become.

Foreplay is a lot of fun. This is so important for your first time because it will relax things and start giving each other ideas of what you like and dislike. Enjoy the foreplay because this is just as much about the sexual experience as the actual sex is. Kissing and touching will get things going.

Make sure both of you have enjoyed the foreplay, and now you are at a point where you just can’t wait anymore before you engage in intercourse. Not only do you want to be super excited and aroused for the experience, but you must remember there needs to be enough lubrication. Things can get a bit uncomfortable and you will have trouble entering, thereby causing discomfort and friction which, in turn, may lead to the condom breaking. So, keep in arms reach a water based lube just in case. This is normal and sometimes happens when there is a bit on anxiety in the air.

Don’t be afraid to say what you are enjoying and what you aren’t. Look at it as constructive criticism. When it is your first time, feedback is the best thing you can get so that next time there can be an improvement. There is no need to be shy.

Girls don’t always have an orgasm the first time. This only happens once they are comfortable and have a good sense of knowledge about each other’s bodies. It takes time and it is normal, so don’t feel pressurized or think that you maybe doing something wrong.

You will ruin things for yourself if you aren’t honest with your sexual experience – be honest so that you both can improve on the experience and keep each other motivated to do better.

Finally, premature ejaculation or battling to get an erection is common. The man is allowed to get nervous too and this is common for your first-time. It is not a big deal and don’t make it into one. Things will get better, the more you try. Again, once you are comfortable enough with each other, you can talk it out and not feel embarrassed